Aloneness is a state of be-ing where one is since it is not lonely. To be lonely is to be missing someone, or some material other. It is a state of being wretched in self- pity at best and or being under the influence of desperation where what matters is that unveiled self- covered by layers of other self- centred activities which has no relevance to ‘reality’ bar the fact that we are the culprits. However, aloneness is a realisation of being: Or the state of awakening into the world, a facticity of life as one may calls it where there is nothing that any other may add or minus from one’s being which essentially means the way ahead and further is a path which is best achieved by oneself as in the final analysis there is no other which may provide inspiration or care to one’s being as each and every other has their own agenda and to a large extent their own life purpose. Therefore, it is very much a question of each to oneself. The idea of togetherness may not even arise and on this view is a mere fictitious or other romantic notion which has no basis. The idea of each according to his desires is what prevails. The adding of one and one is always two in the material as there can be no surging forth from a perspective of aloneness. Miss it and you are deep in trouble and be overwhelmed at the stage of loneliness where there might be more troubles ahead. On the other hand realise the potential of aloneness and one is free from the known, not be caught up in that realm of despair but instead away from that affair of material commitment and with it, its negativity.
In my aloneness, I am that which is and or know who I am, a being within the world with no expectation and realising what needs doing is simply adhere to one’s duty whatever that may be with no expectation, a kind of a detached approach to life and engagement. But that aloneness may sound cold but is only a safeguard against the self or a guarantee that not unduly rely on others about the self to an extent where one loses tract of the self or that being which one is. It is not an arrogant crude self which despises others and or put down others. Rather, it is almost a reaction to seeking a constructive firmness in relationship. There can be no relationships really, no solidity in this fluid world. Govinda Dasa Kaviraja, a Vaishnava Sage had remarked ‘what may we get from wealth, youthfulness, sons and family members whilst the Buddha had noted it is all impermanent and so the sooner one apprehends this the wiser one is. Otherwise , attachment will creep in and with attachment will come anger and anger may lead to despair and when despair surfaces , the vicious cycle is complete…and we are full entanglement in the web of the known arises and so caught up once again in that web of loneliness which may be mistaken for an aloneness. The former is submerged in self-pity and wrapped in ego and await calls from others to be engaged whereas the latter although is equally introspective chooses to be more proactive. Another way of saying this is to remark that whilst one is inward moving , that is self- centred; the other is proactive or moving onwards or towards others to be more precise.
Aloneness is a welcomed state which apprehends the awe-ness of the world . The call is to apprehend all that it offers not from a self- interested perspective but from that state which observes the self as a being in the world; acknowledging from the mode of authenticity where nothing is hidden but laid bare where one does not hides but is open to the vastness available. Its opposite is an agenda for playing truancy with the world and abiding by escapism with a mere engagement at protecting a self- made imagery where the proponents see their self as a measure of being in the world. It is being stuck and where there is no way out. Often, it carries with it negative categories where one is wrapped in despair and or arrogance. In the latter state, nothing matters but a reactionary mode of being where one is prized above and beyond every other whilst in the desperate stage the person, one is merely relegated and sees no hope.