Category Archives: Reflection

Aloneness is a state of be-ing where one is since it is not lonely. To be lonely is to be missing someone, or some material other. It is a state of being wretched in self- pity at best and or being under the influence of desperation  where what matters is that unveiled self- covered by layers of other self- centred activities  which has no relevance to ‘reality’ bar the fact that we are the culprits.  However, aloneness is a realisation of being: Or the state of awakening into the world, a facticity of life as one may calls it where there is nothing that any other may add or minus from one’s being which essentially means the way ahead and further is a path which is best achieved by oneself as in the final analysis there is no other which may provide inspiration or care to one’s being as each and every other has their own agenda and to a large extent their own life purpose. Therefore, it is very much a question of each to oneself. The idea of togetherness may not even arise and on this view is a mere fictitious or other romantic notion which has no basis. The idea of each according to his desires is what prevails. The adding of one and one is always two in the material as there can be no surging forth from a perspective of aloneness. Miss it and you are deep in trouble and be overwhelmed at the stage of loneliness where there might be more troubles ahead. On the other hand realise the potential of aloneness and one is free from the known, not be caught up in that realm of despair but instead away from that affair of material commitment and with it, its negativity.

In my aloneness, I am that which is and or know who I am, a being within the world with no  expectation and realising what needs doing is simply adhere to one’s duty whatever that may be with no expectation, a kind of a detached approach to life and engagement. But that aloneness may sound cold but is only a safeguard against the self or a guarantee that not unduly rely on others about the self to an extent where one loses tract of the self or that being which one is. It is not an arrogant crude self which despises others and or put down others. Rather, it is almost a reaction to seeking a constructive firmness in relationship. There can be no relationships really, no solidity in this fluid world. Govinda Dasa Kaviraja, a Vaishnava Sage had remarked  ‘what may we get from  wealth, youthfulness, sons and family members whilst the Buddha had noted it is all impermanent and so the sooner one apprehends this the wiser one is. Otherwise , attachment will creep in and with attachment will come  anger and  anger may lead to  despair  and when despair surfaces , the vicious cycle is complete…and we are full entanglement in the web of the known arises and so caught up once again in that web of loneliness which may be  mistaken for an aloneness. The former is submerged in self-pity and wrapped in ego and await calls from others to be engaged whereas the latter although is equally introspective chooses to be more proactive. Another way of saying this is to remark that whilst one is inward moving , that is self- centred; the other is proactive or moving onwards or towards others to be more precise.

Aloneness is a welcomed state which apprehends the awe-ness of the world . The call is to apprehend all that it offers not from a self- interested perspective but from that state which observes the self as a being in the world; acknowledging from the mode of authenticity where nothing is hidden but laid bare where one does not hides but is open to the vastness available. Its opposite is an agenda for playing truancy with the world and abiding by escapism with a mere engagement at protecting a self- made imagery where the proponents see their self as a measure of being in the world. It is being stuck and where there is no way out. Often, it carries with it negative categories where one is wrapped in despair and or arrogance. In the latter state, nothing matters but a reactionary mode of being where one is prized above and beyond every other whilst in the desperate stage the person, one is merely relegated and sees no hope.

This is the baggage which is carried about and provides adherents with a feeling of superiority, that of being above the other as if the other is a non entity, as if only the me or those connected with the me are what matters. All else is simply servient or more precisely self- servient. The Socratic principle of ‘I know nothing ‘does not exist in the minds of those whose saliency is marred by opiniated verbosity. The air of superficial knowledge entangled with a fallacy that to the crude self which one has espoused becomes the norm. That norm is projected and so the other relegated, despised and or hated. What matters is the self or the projected self. In some quarters even one pride on organising ways at giving the community as an extended self added value whilst denigrating the other. One toils as per saliency. With that saliency comes negative attributes that of either walking about, nay feeling the sense of as if the world has been made for the self that I am or the closely knit self. One is simply in bad faith, to pen down a Sartrean terminology. And so, the latter as a completed self cannot perceive beyond the veil of saliency. That has become the way to be and full stop. Again, it is like the ‘L’homme Fait’ or translated as ‘ one who is completely made’.
That such a saliency when taken in relationships, mar that process to further develop. Or more precisely there is no relationship. Or how can there be when all that one perceives is that others are self servient. The other is despised. Hatred has become the norm. If not hatred then the air of superiority complex which has no basis. It may either be because of partial view of wealth, health, beauty, knowledge, qualifications, religions, race or similar from which gives one that air of belittling of the other.
Any one adhering to a saliency of being is entangled in a life which lacks seeing the other as a living -warmth, a comrade in life. The other is hated simply because he is there whereas that self is one who is hailed above and beyond. That there is a pettiness is obvious. The crude self is prioritised and the rest not only pushed aside but somehow the proponent gives himself a licence to either cause distress and or injure others with either comments or actions. What matters is only whose saliency is similar to one’s own and so garbage are aired much to the pleasure of the salient. The salient thinks he knows everything. He is like ‘Konn Tu’ translated as ‘one who knows it all’ who in essence knows nothing apart from his sense of superiority based on one aspect of a salient form. Thus, one vaunts being a so and so due to one’s firm veils either from a religious or materialist perspective where what matters is only the petty self prioritised and attributed excellence. In such a pursuit there is no negotiations as what matters is the ego, the self which is everything and or extended self. It is a non mature way of being as the facticity of life. Thus contrary to what the salient believes, the vaunting is based purely on mis-apprehension of life qualities which he /she bases her views on and thenceforth taking this as the guideline to be. Nothing further needs be added as the salient ‘knows’ everything and his world is already done and made. He knows whilst the rest knows nothing. He is a self appointed who rejoices in his make belief. No others matters but himself or extended self. Rather there is no need for others. Usually such self appointees are in truth simply have little credibility beyond their enclosures as they are only acknowledged by those who propound similar distortions of being.
The vulgar are exposed to several salient forms like that of jealousies, hatred, pettiness and so the main questions arising from their exposure is can one just be? Or should one adopt their norm and be pry to their trivialities on which they nurture their being. Need one be like those petit bourgeoisie who thinks to them are given the world and damn the rest? Or is there another way? And if so what is that way? What path may follow so that there may not be a truncated form of being? Or must one live according to whims and make-beliefs? How to be or perhaps precisely not to be …….the enormous amount of the vulgar way of being? Can one expose the vulgar? Or is life a way for the vulgar to thrive on?
What can I, as a thinking being do, not from a partial perspective so that I may apprehend the world in it grandeur? Is that possible or must I succumb to their ways of being and so be entangled and be overwhelmed by their ways? Must I revolt? Or should I give in? Is life just a question of this or that way as they make us believe? May I find solace in apprehensions? What does that mean? Need I have to believe someone? Anyone for that matter or is that pathless land similar to just seeing and acknowledging rather than prejudging? And what does acknowledging means? Living according to an authentic viewpoint? Who knows such ways where no other is denied but lives on eternally at peace without causing others to be subjugated? A land where there is no hypocrisy….. where there is no despair. A land where there is no hatred…… a land where the arrogance is replaced by care….. and or a state where the other is a comrade indeed……where we simply be and indeed cutting away all those attributes of greatness, superiority based on superficial saliency which brings about negatives.
In summary, a saliency, a pre-conceived opiniated view we use to view our world. From the racist, communalist, religious to the capitalist, wealthy and ‘knowledgeable’ all have their whims, a most prized one, a veil which they use to pre-judge the world in which they inhabit. Their truncated views are imposed and slowly it become their world which they cannot see above and beyond. They are caught up and entangled. It is their choice, a limited choice which they thenceforth wish to impose on all others. Their veil becomes the measure of life. What more is that they feel to them are given the right of imposition in the world. And with that whim, they live as they claim also exclusivity for their knowledge which on analysis is no more than opiniated belief. These self appointed Gurus simply live in their whims, a truncated world. Of course, they would perpetually seek to downgrade any effort at comprehension as they ‘know’; a knowledge which is only shared by equally and only by other arrogant minded or similar claimants aiming at not seeing nor discovering what emerges in front of oneself is verily another equally warm being but someone which they have produced based on their idiosyncrasies, nay saliency and which they prejudge the other. The racist or communist may not see beyond their veil as they have a set agenda as would the missionary or the materialist.
From that maze of abundant whims, often it may be impossible to re-discover oneself let alone the other yet the vulgar always is arrogantly clear in that he knows. What do you know may one ask? How do you know? Who give you this exclusive right? For those who reflect, the question always remains one of turning towards the self and seeking to know who we are first rather than be engulfed in forms which further adds on miseries and tribulations as if there are not enough already. Or more precisely the advice from the quarters of the philosopher is to abide and verily pronounce a reflective diktat: Can one just be? Can you? That is a challenge par excellence without whims, without preconceptions and certainly without opiniated garbage. Down with the garbage and say no to it and just be. Is this possible?

Too often we search and continue searching in the exterior for a way to be as I have already stated before: Unless we come to terms with be-ing who we are, everything will be futile. Moving in the arena of attempting to grasp and then hold on to it; is somehow a failed venture because we are seeking in the wrong place.

Sometimes, that search is in projects and yet as existentialists would always remark that once a project is complete, another surfaces. And there is an endless on-going search. In a way one cannot ever come to terms with oneself. It is a constant onwards movement or desire to be so; as consciousness is thus that we can never be fulfilled at least not via projects. Likewise the other provides little comfort precisely as it is the other: Not quite the self which we are. Or, more precisely the non-self, ‘annata’ to coin a Buddhist term. The Buddha had remarked ‘anicca’ translated as impermanence as being one of the three marks of existence thus delineating that one may not quite fulfil that search in others whether animate or inanimate. However, the naïve perpetually seeks it in similar projects whether in affection for one’s kins or any type of love even if this be of the altruist agape of the type that Christians speaks of. Or for that too leads one to a self-satisfaction and done for an ulterior motive where one seeks some or other form of accomplishment and forces one to move elsewhere on towards other forms with the process back to square one That process of being back to the beginning is never truly appreciated as more ardent searches go on.

How does one then choose to be and make sense of this overwhelming maze? Some have observed just be or precisely observes as Jiddu Krishnamurti would always emphasise in his discussions/dialogues as a kind of watching the self may well lead on towards one self where everything begins. In a way, one always begins at the self who we are. In life one takes a professional path and engages in projects which yield gratification. A second adopts a religious path. A third opts for a patriotic path. Someone else may seek to engage in a multinational path. Whatever it is, we always seek to be that which we are not whilst the search is more at ‘elsewhere’ but never where it should matter. Some are genuine and at least show some concern. Others not so. Some belittle others. More of that in my next blog on saliency….

Seek within exclaims the wise and not within the beta level of outer consciousness as the latter yields to disaster but then we are confronted in that maze and within that we are ensnared and appear to get lost in projects and so may not quite know where to turn to; There is a frustration of being within the exterior. Observe, observe and observe; The truth is within you. Grasp it and the search comes to an end with peace abound emanating and radiating from the self that we are. Miss it and you are submerged within the ocean of materialism and its whims which misleads you into frustration but importantly you are thrown in the arena of confusions. And one may also become confounded and not knowing where to search…..

That search is not an exterior path. The outer would provide some temporary solace. Vaishnava sages often observe that ‘for a flickering moment of happiness; I have wasted so many years serving men’. The Prophet Muhammad  spent a large part of his early life in contemplation away from the crowd. Jesus took some forty days whilst refreshing his self. Moses, on his journey towards the Promised Land, decided to take leave of his compatriots for a while when the commandments were revealed to him. Henry David Thoreau took solace every morning in reflecting. Gandhi likewise would bathe himself in spiritual thoughts before encountering others.

The idea of moving onwards and forwards is not a simpleton at being submerged within reactionary forms and just relate as and when a tune is called upon but rather when that tune verily forms part of that transparent self with the life flow emerging from it from within perceived in being rather than being simply overwhelmed by and or reacting to forms about us.

Or more precisely, for us the agenda is slightly different. There is a running away from what we should be staring at. The most important person is ignored. It is not nurtured. Swami Vivekanada has remarked that pray pay a little attention at least once daily to the most important person in your life ‘That is you’. When was the last time one paid some attention to the self that one is. I do not definitely mean, annointing of lotion to the physical self for beautification and or reading a self-development book/literature for mental improvement. Is it not worthwhile the effort turning towards that self which one is? Allocating some quality time to that spiritual being which is beyond the material, physical and mental where one encounters the self; face to face, deeply in be-ing ; rather than running here, there and everywhere…

Are you ready to take that leap forward? In encountering that self who we are really; not what some else has said but through a process of self-discovery not in the known where there is confusions; not in projects which are temporary and which changes from age to age, time to time and even within moments but of that which we are.

Back to the self is precisely having that dialogue that self-dialogue which makes us stop, pause and reflect in our innermost being not physically or mentally but actually..

If you are ready for this, then dialogue may begin. A self-dialogue makes us stare with the self who we are rather than engaging in hundreds of physical projects and or engaging with any kind of projects even if those be helping others. Neglect of the self- means neglecting life even. Sacrifice needs to takes account of the self. One cannot try to change others unless one changes the self or it would be an exercise in hypocrisy. Or fight for a cause where one does not even know oneself. The blind may not lead the blind or there will be disaster. Just pause and consider momentarily even at the intellectual level. Look at the state of the world. Others about us: their daily struggles whether it be for basic survival or attempting to create another better world through their pre-conceived views in their world. Can one be free of confusions, hypocrisies and just be?

So are you quite ready to face up to that self who you are?

The opium which we referred to in the last blog indubitably causes imbalance, in that we remain subservient to a form imposed by others since we somehow are at the mercy of the exterior which imposes itself. This being so, there is no creative power; that force which gives us strength and be-ing!

The realm of the exterior although enjoyable at first whether this be music, sports, film,  serials or any other form which humanoids adopt if pursued in excess leaves its mark and we end up being a victim of what we aimed to avoid in the first place. That sense of fun, enjoyment and happiness which we seek is soon replaced by other awkward categories and the vicious circle re-emerges.

Recreating that search for calm or life balance may happen where the individual sees the logistic of the frailties and inherent problems in the other whether animate or inanimate in the first instance. Once perceived and or apprehended of this in- situation which may be marred by this obsession, an obsession which emerges to the fore, to the detriment of other life aspects; may well be the conducive force for recreating that calmness and be-ing which one yearns for elsewhere. Indeed, whatever be the form; one may be mesmerised sometimes succinctly and at other times easily as there is simply no way out except to be ensnared.

The Buddha had always maintained introspection as being a ‘noble’ way of not being caught up within the exterior. Look within. Likewise it echoes of cries of ‘the truth is within you.’ and seek to understand yourself first. The   lesson from all this is not that we espouse Buddhism and or take to a spiritual path but rather seeks awareness of the realm of the known and the danger it poses to our being in the world where we may easily succumbed to forms whether it be religious or secular.

Previously, I have referred to the idea of working within the self, where no other may provide an answer. This goes hand in hand with the spirit of coaching where the idea of is certainly to make one aware that answers lies not elsewhere but through our own introspection which personal performance coaches would apply, seek to provide in an spirit of alerting one and or recreating that desire to be and witness life as it is but in a way, it is also up to the individual to apprehend that beauty first; with the coach acting as a mere inner voice. In this way, the coach only responds to the quest of the individual. If the latter chooses to walk a certain path as long as this is authentic; the coach simply acquiesces to the needs of the enquirer rather than imposing his own form….

That search for peace remains  for ever a question of probing further into the inner world of one’s being, which is untainted by the vast overflow of influences which  at best makes us reactionaries and be led to the live forces as imposed by others. The agenda setters simply would/could not allow us to be either creative or be free since their pace in a way depends on our being subservient to their idiosyncrasies whilst that inner world is also synonymous with creativity whilst its opposite merely makes us falls prey to all the external influences in whichever forms. In a way, I am aware that I am struggling to make the point that it is indeed within the realm of inner that one may achieve that beauty or happiness or fun which we search elsewhere as the exterior clearly leaves its toll on us with us being always harassed mentally, physically and spiritually whilst a deep search unto selves create that passion and ever freshness of being which we may not beget elsewhere.

A balance therefore needs to take full account of the inner realm where we may truly reflect, become alert and more importantly take those little steps onto wards being not overwhelmed but rather there can be no forces of the exterior which may cause imbalance. This tremendous awareness makes us takes chunks of life from everywhere but guards us against being immersed into a subculture which may cause us relentless suffering or inability to see being a particular subculture or certainly some other undue inertness or hazy feelings. Just imagine sleeping following an overload of watching TV for instance or having the mind tampered with ‘other stress’ as imposed from the exterior.

That balance and or search to be without imposition from the external may arise when we begin reflecting on how to be. How does one create /maintain a balance in a world where most of our lives may be easily swamped? What do we have to do to ensure that we are in the mode of being in a world often dominated by (exterior) influences?  Does realisation /awareness of similar stumbling blocks to our personal progress suffice or is more required? And if more is required what may be that more? Who knows?

Karl Marx had remarked that religion was the main hindrance in creating what he felt was lacking in the proletariat, the aspect of reflection which may move us towards actions and or praxis in that of taking destiny within our own hands rather than leaving it for others to decide.
Almost two centuries on, we may easily replace the word ‘religion’ by sport. Each age/decade has an opium to abide by, causing subjugation at simple abnegation of not wanting to be proactive or engaged. Rather the opium becomes the cause of not perceiving the ‘what is’. A tampered ‘what is’ and we happily fall prey often without realising it.
Modern opium consists of sports generally and it varies from country to country. In the UK generally and indeed for many across the globe; football has replaced religion. In India, it is cricket which has taken over. Elsewhere, it may be NFL or rugby. Whatever it may be, the consensus is that the new monster has taken over. We are thrilled; overwhelmed by it as if it is the be all and end all of life whether it is a Messi who has scored a goal or Tendulkar a century. It is a game, yet it has been prioritised over and above everything thing else leaving the proletariat bewildered and trampled over.
In some instances that opium may be television and or sometimes that may well be with our involvement in work where again we emerge as no more than automatons. We are thus caught up in repetition and plain repetition in passivity where the mind becomes dull and is led through the exterior at a level of the mind where there can be no creativity but plain reaction to others. In such a state there can be no innovations or contributions either for or to oneself, the family or community, society or the world at large. A polluted mind may never be able to be proactive. At best it reacts to events. And so we are mere reactionaries. Perhaps that is the nature of the populace that proletariat which may never be really free of the type of freedom which one always yearns for, a freedom where we can just be.
Do we surrender that spirit of enquiry for the sake of transient pleasures or forfeit these for the other similar enjoyments where we are led into an inauthentic dream where we exchange, nay give up on our own reality for a fake life which in a way becomes the norm of existence. The effect of the opium whether it be sports, television or any other simply coerces us into being there in the mode of passivity where we may not rise over and above to just be.
A manipulation of the facticity and we are made into puppets at the hands of others, a few others who are empowered often unknowingly to keep us at bay. The modern ‘proletariat’ sometimes do so out a choice as if the newly found religion or sports/television or any ‘ism’ for that matter is through their choice, a choice imposed upon by some to which we duly or unduly subscribes to.
‘Opium’ makes us lead an unreal life, when there may be few contributions if any. It makes us dull and the mind becomes polluted with the norms that may not lead us anywhere as a person. A world of possibilities may sometimes open up when we are involved in authentic projects which engage us actively, where there is creativity making the mind connects with its surroundings to prosper or provides impetus to life rather than makes us / tampers us into subjugation!
Whereas one may argue that authentic religions may well provide depth to possibilities modern ‘opium’ lack that realm. Most serials lacks the force to make others reflect let alone take proactive steps towards one’s own liberation in achieving one’s personal goals. On the other hand sports allegiance simply provide nothing but a sense of temporal satisfaction that one’s team or object of support has achieved their own goal whilst the individual simply is left to fend for oneself at the end.
The arising questions from all this is can we ever be free from opium? Where is the balance between opium and being there in the midst of it a la authenticity? May one lead a life of purpose? Who may answer such queries? In the final analysis, is it not for each individual to seek his/her own path amidst the maze of life is not the sense of being contentment based on one’s choice and freedom even if means deliberately choosing opium? Especially in an age where opinion is what matters where unlike Socrates we are not endowed with that wisdom of all I know is that I know nothing whilst we seem to know everything!
So where do we go from here? What is your world view? What is your opium? Can you really shrug free of this?

We live in the world as if our personal story is the true one. At an authentic motivational level that may serve us well. We would then move mountains if need be to achieve what we desire. The reality is that only a few of us have this powerful spiritual (not necessarily associated with a religion or any form of religion) belief endowed within us that we are prepared to do anything to move forwards. The sad thing is most of us are caught up in a web of where belief is taken for fact and thinking is truncated leaving obstacles about us. All that leads to over generalisations of our selves within that web such that we cannot see beyond: Our behaviour is shaped likewise and fears surfaced matching it and ‘confirming’ that limitation. We recalled what others have said about us. It has left a deep wound within us. We are tormented. Yet we cannot shrug free as we have adopted and accepted it after years and years of being told that this is so. And so we relate to the world in that manner. In a minor form, we feel worthless. In an extreme form, we are just depressed as if the weight of the world is against us and with it everyone about us. Verily, we do not trust anyone. For that matter, we do not trust ourselves either. We have lost all hope as if the other is a perpetual threat to my being. And so we live life in a truncated form, disregarding the fact the world is not run on mistrust. On the other hand society itself paints a pale picture of reality where pain, sorrow ,distraught and fear has emerged as categories that has currency due to the not-me being always a danger which gains more currency in daily life rather than ideas of positivity where we may be encourage not to mistrust the other completely. Stories of violence, hate, despair and terror continue to surface which little helps one who is already cornered into subjugation. At home and school we are taught ‘trust no one’: Education is based on fear. There is a lack of mistrust all round. How can we trust any other, rightly or wrongly whether that person is our parent, teacher, leader or carer? That fear has left us all drained. It takes its tolls more in the one who espoused that trend of negativism as the subject does not have that vitality to move onwards or see beyond that which is being exposed. Rather one remains contented with that norm and indeed find solace of an enclosed world reflecting that vicious circle.

At a negative level that gives us cause for concern where we may feel that we are worthless, suffer from lack of confidence and have the inferiority complex or that we deserve nothing better. And society with its daily stories of hate, hypocrisies, mistrust and lack of faith (atheism, not of a religious form!) simply makes the subject even hazier!

Our thoughts in a way dominate feelings and all this often leads us to actions or no actions in that there is so much baggage that has crept in. That baggage or dirt continues to amass within us, our thoughts and before we know where we are, we lie there within it. And so, we cannot shrug free as it has become part of our being. Our world is seen through the eyes of accumulated dirt which has grown and grown and collected weeds about and so we cannot see. We are so engrossed. It has become our world. That is our story!

From all that is meant we generalise and distort reality and or generalise things according to this view which continually belittles us. We are here and down and out because we are not worthy of anything. And so behave and believe and with belief comes acknowledgement that we are so. And nature likewise complies. That feeling of being no good and that ‘the others are better than me’ dominates the agenda of one who chooses to be in distress. It is their choice to be in that way. One can always choose to be or not to be. Not to choose essentially means choosing or to stay within that web of the gremlin where we are stuck and can never move from or dare to cut free that chain of subjugation which was brought about from somewhere, imposed upon us through our upbringing, sometimes closed ones and by others who influenced so much that we dare not live our life but abide by that truncated view which have been forced upon us. We dare not leave all that behind as it has in a way becomes a reality for us and once we have espoused; we see no other way out!

The Coach may take one out of this vicious web and make you aware of what you have missed and will miss should you choose to remain within that realm of negativity. He will not provide you another agenda but will make you realise that you are caught up in your world because of your own thought. You will come to understand that Reality is with a big R and accommodate every other and not simply as one would have painted it and live by it. There is that bigger dimension untapped where one may choose to explore. The exploration is undertaken by looking at one’s own limited view and asking us to probe deep into all that which has become a hindrance. It is at an assessment level and may be called understanding where we are.

This understanding process makes us realise that we are indeed caught up in a web. It also makes us realise that there is an alternative world view which if adopted may lead us on to more good and great things in life. What happens if I choose to be as I am? What may happen if I choose to break the chains of subjugations? Are you ready to move forwards and onwards? The choice of course is yours…….

Addendum: Miles Downey says that people have a unique map of reality; not of reality itself; some of which as we have observed are authentic, in line with progress and achievement for all whilst others possess a form which belittles sometimes not only others but oneself at a deeper level where if remain unchecked may cause outer or inner self destruction. To check this often requires reflection and indeed one may not be able to do so if all we have done in our life is simply to follow our instincts which do not serve us well all the time. Pray reflect, reflect and reflect. Sometimes, we need an inspiration from our inner voice and a comrade to get us out of this rut. That inner voice may well be a coach, or this is what I think a coach in essence is…. Someone’s inner voice in dialogue with the self but choosing this option means that this inner voice is outside of us, some other who readily is there fully and totally committed towards listening to and awakening that deep conscience of yours in a synergy of being! On the other hand, one may also continue with one’s world, that special unique view which if authentic may serve your family, friends, society, the world and ultimately God may say some if adhered to. Yet my cry is towards others who are not in balance or the title of this blog could have been ‘ Check our story of the world’.

Acknowledgement: Inspiration from Kris Robertson of the Coaching Academy, following an Accelerator Learning day on the Advanced Grow ‘OW’ whilst the subject matter is very much with the  R or ‘reality’ as in the Grow Model.

Pamplemousses’ Botanical Gardens, Mauritius, August 2012

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Eleanor Roosevelt

To dream is to achieve. Without a dream, one cannot move. Any project begins with a vision, a foresight to move along. Life goals are those targets far away in the future for which we have to move towards often doing so in small steps. Any achievement may not have emerged without conceiving it in the mind first and foremost before taking actions towards it.

How we see that future unfold depends on our vision of life. Whilst many will have some vision about what they would want to do or not do, others will simply be contented and whirl away in the forces of nature and let things just be. Others will have a goal to work towards; some which are authentic at outset and indeed take steps towards making it a reality but only to succumb within a few days or others much later. A new year always brings along new hope, new aspirations and somehow resolutions emerge: ‘Oh yes, I shall be endeavouring to this with newly acquired energy’; would be a thought of many.

The dream is not real. It is simply a verbal or mental statement without too much commitment. It lacks a factual, real element to it…therefore, no commitment at all. It is plainly superficial. That is why New Year resolutions remain unfilled and we give up as easily as we started our resolves. The lack was precisely that element of trust in ourselves in that we fail to perceive that beauty inherent within that dream. Rather, it was pursued without much thought or started haphazardly or without much reflection; hence the failure to abide by this.

Others have dreams that have been carefully nurtured, dreams that have been felt not only superficially but with the mind, body and wholly. Because it is so, it is a goal that one has set with a futuristic vision. This may not necessarily be a non material vision. As long as this is an authentic vision, one who endeavours such desires or goals may have one’s wishes fulfilled. The simple reason being is that there is the intensity and a vision to be. Another way of putting this is to say that, there are more reasons for it to be fulfilled than not to precisely because the proposer has actually felt it completely.

I shall only be pro-active to those aspects of my life which are of extreme importance to me. Where there is a lack; there will be no intent, without intent there will be no resilience and without resilience can there be pro activity as it all crumbles in the realm of reactionaries and or finding thousand of excuses not to move forwards.

One who sets a goal based on a dream needs to be consciously aware of what one may achieve. One must feel it and be in it in the mode of the future. This being so, one easily have tasted it fully and have been there. Once the dream is apprehended, then the mind  takes  appropriate steps towards that dream of the type that Yohann Wolfgang Von Goethe reminds us of ‘’Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men.’’

So that dream must be BIG if we are to follow Von Goethe’s dictate since small dreams cause us to stumble sooner or later. What is required is that which will make us live it, feel it, taste it and be it. The Maitri Upanishads talks of ‘one own thought is one’s world. What a person thinks is what he becomes’ That may not be so obvious with those who dare not dream but is simply contented in the pools of materialism where one simply be in the passivity or live as those epsilons, deltas or even alphas which Aldous Huxley warned us in his brave new world or even the Orwellian 1984. Choosing such a path effectively means a choice or not choosing to involve a choice which shatter our being in the world where we are ensnared by those small dreams, nay those little dreams that corner us into subjectivity where we cannot shrug free and move along since with that choice comes limitation or a desire to remain fulfilled within the realm of the small dream and with that comes the notorious attitude contrary to the spirit of real freedom where one engages fully, actively or pro actively to put it more ‘coolly’. And so we succumb or fall prey to reactionary forces since we would be cut off as there is no real reason to be and dare-ness to dream BIG!

The challenge remains for us is that can we make our dream that big so that we may endeavor to achieve it in that even if it be within our non-comfort zone for often that BIG dream is about moving onwards and forwards outside of our arena where we are called upon by our inner conscience to adopt strides in full commitment to achieve that desired goal. My question for you is you ready for it to dream and achieve as Zig Ziglar stated years ago ‘If you can dream it, then you can achieve it.’ But as I was saying THAT DREAM MUST BE BIG… What do you think?

In a way a dream is like a goal, a life goal which we may set up or can set up along with a coach and work towards it. A coach simply empowers one to achieve it as your enabler and inner conscience whilst within relaxation, there are ample strategies provided for simple dreaming.

Dare you dream big? Certainly mine for 2013 and beyond is!

Please accept my good wishes and may you make the right choice for the upcoming New Year.

To be there in the midst of it all: Enjoy the moment! Can we actually be? In a way, one is never there so to speak. We are always on the go, not quite with the moment but moving on. In another way, we just exist, full stop without quite being there, or more precisely here, ready to be.

Mostly, it also leads to passivity. In passivity, we are (just) pawns and are led away. No longer do we reflect, or take praxis in that there is an acknowledgement of the now-ness. We are overwhelmed by the future, what needs to be doing. There is little concern to being there.

Being there may mean acknowledging of the authentic I-ness in en–situation where one appreciates and find oneself. It is like catching a glimpse of oneself in mindfulness which the Buddha may speak of. It is giving all our attention, intentionally to this moment; and in this moment indeed to that richness of life or being.

The alternative is to move on and on and never quite being part of the beauty of the moment. The question is can one be free of all temporal, prejugée at least to be there. So what is being there?  How may it help one’s being-in-the-world? How may it be useful in one’s relationship? Or in our projects?

What benefits may one have for being there?  Alternatively what may one not have/forgo for not being there? And or always running away from that moment? Is there if any mileage in: just watch oneself live, observe the stillness of life as it unfolds? What does it all mean for me as an individual who wants to be?

In this being, we see things as they are. We apprehend and interact with life, with that which is revealed in the present. We appreciate and live in the moment. It is our now-ness, a now-ness which is not blurred by a vision of running away towards a future which may never be, since adopting such a strategy always may mean that were always on the run for ever and in that process miss out on our daily living.

From a relaxation perspective, one may appreciate all that is but from a coaching one does that mean that misses out on the aspect of planning? And is not failure to plan indicative of planning to fail? Or does that mean that one mis-apprehends the now-ness as it reveals to me? What do you think?

A cliché which is often used by many but one worthy taking note of. In the seventies, a cousin of mine observing his father spending hours on end, engaged in his business quietly suggested to me ‘’ I do not understand why Bolom (the old man) would be doing so much effort for so little output. He is crazy and He won’t listen to me.’’

‘’ Look here,’’ my cousin further retorted ‘’I have a ready-made approach where he may work for just half the time and achieve more than he would be earning. Will he accept this? Of course not for to him the work is more important or to be seen to be so engaged’’ He was adamant that his father would always opt for just the idea of working or be seen to be working just for the sake of it echoing Robert Kiyosaki’s Poor Dad’s approach.

Upon reflection, how often are we all ensnared in life and overwhelmed by it all and in the process refusing to take control of oneself and one’s dealings. In more ways than one, we let things and events bypass us and kind of let things be in the mode of passivity. And so we are involved  in our work in a busy, busy and busy fashion where in-balance creeps in and in a way affecting other aspects of life but we hardly notice it as we live on or shall I say merely exist! In such a state of being what really matters is going through the motion of work, work and work hard ideology. One must always work hard would say another slogan and that of course is contrary to the work smart principle.

 The work smart principle provides one with tools to be effective and proactive whilst its opposite the work harder simply out phase our life in that we become slaves of a rigid life and victims often a self imposed, nay soul destroying system which makes us no more than simple automatons of the Orwellian type. By espousing this norm, we abide by its rigidity as if this is the only way forwards or we may not shrug free of it? And so we may be seen as doomed. Sartre has always maintained that there is always a choice in life and this is what makes us be there so to speak in the midst of the world in the face of any adversity. It is precisely our humanness which can lift us above and beyond any constraint.

Continuing the earlier story, I discovered with some distress during my recent summer holidays that my cousin too has become a victim of the work hard ethic. He plainly stated to me that he works over 12 hours a day, 365 days a year, with hardly any break. When reminded of my uncle, he recalls his own earlier statement towards his father and indeed acknowledges his conscious incompetence at a failure to shrug free. Would my cousin be willing to discover and explore ways whereby he may be more effective? And or find out ways of not being confined to a certain norm which has started to take over his life since some five years now? Would he really want to take control of his life rather than having his life being washed away by the system of hard work?

I succinctly suggested to my cousin that he tries coaching as a method to bring some sanity into his life; but then for my cousin it may be his world view now, his newly acquired beliefs or perhaps how he wants to be. Yet he has also acknowledged that it is prudent to at least explore ways of being more efficient!

In many ways as we march through life, indeed many of us also spouse a philosophy of being done by the elements/forces of nature in that we do not have control over the’ I’ of my being!

And yet, we know that not to prize that self over things/projects etc are equally degrading as little respect is shown to one self. In life what we may not do is to commit self destruction and the work had approach simply contributes towards this? Why work hard when we can work smart? What do we have to do to work smart? How may we relate to the world and or be in the world? Naturally, some of these questions may be raised in the process of coaching?  From workers to professionals students and every other the question of ensnarement looms indeed have over our life, where there is no balance. Rather, it is a mismatch of distress, distraught and sometimes confusions and desperation which may culminates into all sorts of undue maladies/ads on just for the sake of it with us simply being a pawn.

The plea of course is to be reflective and in placing the self which you are in its primal position when one first began to attempt conquering the world and not overwhelmed by it all. Seek that authenticity of being first. Respect the self and value it and make it a centripetal force of being rather than forcing it to be subjugated into nothingness where it has no importance. With the self one is a hero. Without it one is a zero. The choice could not be clearer……

As I begin writing the first post of my blog, I am delighted to make use of WordPress as part of philosophical exploration. I began such a process just under three decades ago back in the eighties, through a booklet.

To be or not to be that is no longer the question: the question is how to be.

There is always the choice of relating to the world. In a way, we all have our world view and so relate to it as we think fit. Ambiguously, we all have a choice. A choice indeed often marred by precisely how we deem it fit to live. Then there is the question of authenticity which in a way calls us to be in a certain way, at least not to ignore certain guidelines. The question arising out of this equation is: what is authenticity? There is also an epistemological question of: how do we know? Hence the process of knowledge remains blurred…

In regards to relaxation, we may say there is a technique at Mantra For Be-ing which we have adopted – a view in that living is about searching from the inner where happiness, nay peace resides! Any similar search or movement on towards the exterior will have its own failure in that we are looking at solidity within a fluid state. One cannot find happiness in the exterior, whilst that peace may always beget within. The process moves us towards a form where we take things within our stride and by doing so, we are in rapport with life. In the coaching realm, the idea of how to be is based in the search for the self to be that one should be based on one’s own vision without compromise or interference.  In a way, it is to get rid of interference so that there is a swift movement towards be-ing what we really want to be…